In Memory of John Fawcett

   Fr. Michael Carney, an Orthodox priest, wrote me shortly before John’s death, assuring us of his prayers for John, along with the following:

   Like many other people, I have received much from the Lord through John's hands. He and I met a couple of years back at a PCM in Wheaton. Last year his deep responsiveness to the Holy Spirit as he led music for the PCM showed me what it is to be a minister of Christ's deep and mighty love.
   All of this, the fruit of his life in Christ, could be felt and touched through his music. But it was later on that I saw it--quite literally.
   Towards the end of the week, he was speaking at the front podium about his cancer. He spoke with courage and honesty, with a faith that somehow shared space with fear. As he spoke, I saw a huge column of golden light, which came very solidly down onto the podium, bathing it and him. Looking up, I saw that this solid, majestic column of light was actually the vertical bar of an enormous cross. The cross filled all the space between the podium and the ceiling, and the arms were also very wide.
   On this cross I gradually perceived the living Christ, suffering for and with us. He also was very large. John, as he stood and continued to talk, was completely engulfed (though this is probably not quite the right word) within this golden cross.
   I shared this with John at the time, although now as then I feel that no words are adequate to describe the majesty and the triumph, even through fear and pain, of this experience.

   How wonderfully God manifests His grace to us! I asked Doug Carrington, who planned the music together with John for the 2007 PCM, to write of that last time we worked with John in a PCM:

   I did not have the opportunity, as did others at PCM, to work closely with John over many years, though I did enjoy his ministry at a number of PCM schools. What a privilege it was in August 2006 when Leanne asked me to compile a list of classic hymns to be used to reinforce the messages of the PCM lectures. How fortunate yet again when planning for the 2007 Wheaton PCM called for a collaborative effort with John Fawcett. Those 800 or so people in attendance know what an incredible week it was!
   John was a worship leader, though not in a traditional sense. His knowledge of music and his passion for worship were immense, but rather than forcing his opinions or selections, he could gently persuade and direct you into the mind of the Spirit, which usually became apparent fairly quickly. For John worship was inspired by vision--that found in the book of Revelation where St. John vividly describes heavenly worship on the Lord’s Day. I believe the entire music team found themselves inspired by the apocalyptic vision. Rather than being frightened by it, we embraced it. To John the glory of God--His transcendent, holy presence among us--was the most important thing. It was the whole reason for worship and the reason for man’s existence.
   John was easily one of the most knowledgeable people I have ever met. You could name your topic and he would be on top of it with a lively flair. He was truly amazing. Once during the planning stages for PCM 2007, John and I met for lunch. We talked for a few minutes and landed on the subject of Anglican hymnody. Forty-five unexpected but delightful minutes later I had been provided with an oral history of the Anglican church! This classically exemplifies working with John: you never quite knew where you would end up, but you always knew it would be good!
   I am a person who likes things ordered; working with John on the PCM music proved to be anything but! We once sat down to plan a lengthy song service to accompany Communion; we had about an hour to work and spent most of that time discussing composers, hymn subjects and origins, historical details, and so on until we noticed the time and had to hurry through planning the song service in about 15 minutes. Numerous last-minute changes or additions, not knowing through the entire week whether John would be able to play or sing (he was receiving radiation treatments at this time), showing up for a song service and not knowing which musicians or singers might be there--these were commonplace occurrences at that PCM. Yet out of the chaos, the Lord brought such incredible order and beauty. The beauty did not stop when the lecture began. Several times, at the conclusion of public worship, the musicians and singers would step backstage and continue to worship and minister to the Lord. These are my most treasured memories of working with John. Sometimes we would worship in great thanksgiving and celebration; other times a very hushed and holy silence would descend.
   I will always look on that week in June 2007 as a transformational event for me--heaven truly came down. John was a huge part of that experience, and yet the worship was far beyond any of our individual abilities. It was not about personalities on the platform; it was all about Jesus and His glory. As good as it was, there is also a lingering fear that we may never worship quite like that again, at least not until resurrection morning.
   To John I say this: thank you for the great, great privilege of working and worshiping with you. Rest well, worship well.